Letters to the editor

Everyone is fighting a hard battle

A quiet life is a worthy goal, and I believe it’s something we all deserve.

When my now-adult son was in grade school, as part of an ancestry project he tape-recorded an interview with his great grandmother whose parents came over from Ireland. Something she said to him that has stayed with me was that her family came to the United States because they were living in poor and unsettled conditions and they wanted “a quiet life.”

The phrase stayed with me and keeps coming to mind because in this time of polarized culture and politics, as I see it a quiet life is what all of us want–home, family, friends, health, meaningful work, and adequate financial means likely being at the top of our lists.

I’ve had problems in my life, but for the most part I’ve been able to live a quiet and peaceful life. I’m White, married to my husband, mom of one son and grandmother to two grandsons. As a couple my husband and I worked hard and also had opportunities that some haven’t, so we’re blessed that in retirement we’re financially comfortable.

Not being exceptional or in a demographic minority, we’ve been able to blend into our community and lead the life my grandmother described as her parents’ ideal.

Others can’t say the same. For example, consider people who are gay and/or in same-sex couples. Marriage equality has granted same-sex couples legal protections of opposite-sex unions, but there are court cases and legislation questioning or seeking to limit those rights, to where a spouse could be denied visitation of an ill partner or transfer of property wouldn’t be a given.

In addition, there are daily expressions of intolerance in the media and I suspect frequent ones in these individuals’ and families’ day-to-day lives. This doesn’t seem like a quiet life but rather one of unease and threat.

Or consider someone who’s transgender. In the case of children, I’ve heard stories of parents who never expected to have a child who would question their birth gender, yet these families report extreme relief and peace when the child is affirmed and supported.

And those who are older who transition have surely faced struggles I can’t begin to imagine. In my opinion trans people, as fellow inhabitants of this earth and our communities, deserve respect and acceptance and are entitled to this quiet life as well.

Can we keep in mind the saying, “Be kind, for everyone you know is fighting a hard battle?” I’d like to see everyone in my community accepted and affirmed, and our American ideals of freedom and the joy of a quiet life be extended to all.

Eileen Beran

Kalona