Dear Abby - Daughters resist mom?s domineering demands

DEAR ABBY: At what point does a parent no longer have the right to know who their child's friends are?

I have three grown daughters, all on their own, living on the other side of the country. During a recent visit home, I asked each of them to give me all of their friends' phone numbers, in case I couldn't reach them. I also wanted to know who they were exactly, how well they knew them, etc. I was simply thinking of their safety. If I can't reach my girls, I want to know who might have seen them last and, if need be, give that information to the police.

All three of them told me no! They said they are grown women and can take care of themselves, and besides, if they didn't want to answer their phone when I called, I sure didn't need to be pestering their friends.

They say they are adults, and that we (their dad and I) no longer have the right to "dictate" who they are friends with. I say I'm their mother and no matter how old they get, I will always have the right to know who they are friends with. -RENEE IN OREGON

DEAR RENEE: You are their mom, but you are not your daughters' parole officer. They are self-supporting, self-sufficient adults. Perhaps if you were less overbearing, your daughters would be living closer, would answer their phones when you call and would open up to you about their friendships. I think you should apologize.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I had dinner with some other couples at a restaurant. After the meals were brought to the table, someone said, "We need to pray." In this quiet, candlelit setting, a "Bless us, oh Lord ..." was spoken aloud by most of the people in our party, causing heads to turn at a number of nearby tables. I was embarrassed.

Ee are religious and we pray aloud in church, but not in restaurants. I have seen people bow their heads and pray privately, which seems more appropriate. Is there a rule of etiquette about praying in a restaurant? -SILENTLY PRAYING FOR ADVICE

DEAR SILENTLY PRAYING: Yes. In restaurants, praying should be done quietly and inconspicuously to avoid distracting others.

DEAR ABBY: I love my friends and enjoy going out to dinner, and attending plays and movies with them. However, something really annoys me. My husband and I are usually early, and when we go to the movies, our friends ask us to pick up the tickets if we arrive first. After the movie we'll grab a bite to eat and at the end of the evening say goodbye.

How do we ask them for the money we laid out for the tickets if they forget to offer it? This has happened three times with different friends and we're out the money. -ANNOYED IN TEANECK

DEAR ANNOYED: There are a couple of ways to do it: As you hand the tickets over, you might say, "That'll be $20, please." But if that's uncomfortable for you, the following day, call these "forgetful" friends and ask them to send you a check.