Dear Abby - Wife fears she may be falling out of love

DEAR ABBY: I have been with ?John? for 18 years. We married while he was in prison. I know I have outgrown him, but I?m scared to say it?s over in case I realize later that we should be together. Over the years, we have both cheated.

There doesn?t seem to be anyone else out there to choose from, so maybe I should stay. I?m not afraid to be alone, but I am confused. I am suffering from depression over this. -STUCK IN DES MOINES

DEAR STUCK: If the only reason you haven?t left John is that there?s no one else around to choose from, it?s understandable that you would be depressed. The status quo isn?t fair for you or your husband.

You have two choices: Fix your marriage or leave. Of course, the better option would be for you and John to have counseling to see if your love can be revived. However, if it doesn?t work, then it might be better for you both to separate. The reason there is no one else out there right now may be that you are unavailable.

DEAR ABBY: I am very uncomfortable receiving gifts. How can I get longtime friends to stop bringing hostess gifts when I invite them over? I don?t need anything, and I resent feeling I am obligated to take something to them, too.

Why do women do this and men not feel so compelled? I have tried remarking, ?The present of your ?presence? is present enough,? but it continues. -UNGRACIOUS IN FLORIDA

DEAR UNGRACIOUS: Women usually bring hostess gifts because they were raised to believe it is the gracious thing to do. Tell friends that when they visit, you would prefer they bring only themselves and nothing more. Then explain that you are at a point where you have enough ?things? and do not need or want any more.

DEAR ABBY: A good friend of mine recently found out his daughter, "Rhonda" (who is over 18), feels she should have been born a boy. "Ronnie" is now living life as a man and plans to change genders completely.

My friend and his wife are finding it difficult to deal with. He doesn't understand why she can't just be gay, which he would be fine with. I want to give them emotional support while at the same time supporting Ronnie, but I'm having a hard time relating to their feelings.

Could you provide some resources for them, such as organizations that help families deal with gender changing and all that it entails? -WANTS TO BE SUPPORTIVE

DEAR WANTS TO BE SUPPORTIVE: I know an excellent LGBT organization. It's called Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG).

Ronnie can't "just be gay" because the issue isn't sexual orientation; it is Ronnie's gender identity. PFLAG can help to explain this to Ronnie's father, and he should visit pflag.org for guidance.