Here’s the thing

The amount of time I spend thinking about food is outrageous. It really is. Every morning at about 10 a.m., I announce what food I've been thinking about that morning because I truthfully have been thinking about a different food for the past several hours.

So when my friend Jaime shared a post about how you could eat spaghetti on the go if you put it in a cone, I knew my life would be forever changed. For three days I thought about this spaghetti cone and how I could make it a reality.

The following is a step by step account of how to make this divine culinary experience for yourself.

First you will need to make sure you have everything you need. When you realize you don't have everything you need, you'll need to go to Fareway. Once there, you'll spend about three-and-a-half minutes walking around and trying to locate the aluminum foil aisle because never have you ever bought aluminum foil and you have no idea where it is.

Once you locate it, you'll stand there perplexed because why in the world are there so many kinds? Who invented all of these? Why did someone invent all of these? Eventually you'll grab a blue box that kind of looks like one you remember seeing at your mom's house and then set off to find pizza dough.

Then you'll stand in the middle of the chip aisle trying to figure out if pizza dough is in the refrigerated section or if you should just make it yourself. Then you'll realize you just suggested more work for yourself. You'll immediately take off for the refrigerated section.

Once you locate said dough, which will take way longer than necessary because once again, there are way too many options for one item, you'll make your way to the counter. The cashier will ask what you're making. You'll stand there trying to decide whether it's a good idea to talk about the fact that you're a grown woman about to make a cone to put your spaghetti in. You will relent and tell her, she will smile politely and you'll walk away knowing she 100 percent thinks your nuts. She's 100 percent right.

Once you get home, you'll preheat the oven, put water in a pot for the spaghetti, turn on the stove and get to making an aluminum foil cone. Then, you'll wrap it in pizza dough and pop it in the oven. You'll add noodles to the pot on top of the stove and a pinch of salt because one time you were watching a TV show that featured Gordon Ramsey and this is what he said to do.

Then you'll notice the aluminum foil box on the counter and wonder what this stuff is for anyway. An idea will come to you. Ten minutes later you will have an aluminum foil hat, boat and are working on a matching hat for the dog when you realize, once again, you are grown and need to pull yourself together.

Then you'll start thinking about how genius this spaghetti in a cone idea really is. You'll soon recall a chat you had with your friend Steve where you two talked about creating a bread bowl lined with cheese that can be toasted and filled up with tomato soup. Grilled cheese and tomato soup on the go. Its brilliant.

Then you'll start thinking about a pretzel bread bowl and how you can fill it with cheese for football games. A conversation you had about six months ago where you discussed making a corn dog with a cornbread crust that can be dunked in chili will resurface in your memory. You'll soon realize you're a culinary genius and decide these ideas simply must be shared.

You'll tell Alexa to remind you to contact Costco tomorrow because you're about to change the world.

By this time, the pasta is ready. After you drain it, add the sauce and some meatballs you're off to the races. Next, you will smell the cone. And it will smell great. This is a dangerous realization.

You'll open the oven door and be so excited to try it that you will reach out to grab the pan but because you're not wearing an oven mitt, you'll sting your fingers instead. You will then slam your knuckles on the top of the oven when trying to pull your hand out. It is at this time that you will begin screaming.

When the dog comes closer to see what's up, you'll start screaming louder while you kick the oven door closed and rush off to the bathroom. You'll take a deep breathe and put your hand under the cold faucet.

The pain will be so great it will take years off your life and you'll be sent back decades, seeing images from the suffragette movement and the Boston Tea Party. You will roll your eyes at yourself and once again, pull yourself together, to put some cream on the burn. Whatever you've got in the medicine cabinet will do.

Carefully, you'll make your way back to the oven and using your other hand, make sure an oven mitt is on before removing the cone. You will drizzle that guy in a little garlic butter- inside and out- and let it chill out for a minute. Once your positive your hand is safe, its time to remove the aluminum foil and add the spaghetti. It's the most beautiful thing you've ever seen. It's garlic bread with spaghetti inside. It's portable. It's magic.

You have no idea how you're supposed to eat this thing but you just decide to go for it and take a bite. Yep, nailed it. It's perfect. Tell Alexa to remind you to call the cooking channel tomorrow. You've got a recipe for the gods.