Parson to Person - Learning to trust God

By Robert Wamer, Master of Pastoral Studies

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders. Let me walk upon the waters where ever you would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior. This verse from the song ?Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)? by Crocker, Houston and Ligthelm had new meaning to me later in the day I submitted the Parson to Person article last month on being grateful for all things as I found out that my contract would not be renewed. Suddenly I was job hunting and grieving a position I had found fulfilling and rewarding.

Experiencing this sudden loss I, in my typical fashion, became angry and depressed. It seemed that I was drowning in loss, in the past 12 months I had lost my mother, two bosses (one to being transferred, one who passed away suddenly) had to find a new place to live and now the job. Many of my prayers consisted of lamentations. I felt like I could relate to a story about St. Teresa of Avila (a nun born in 1515 who was a reformer and mystic). This story has her covered in mud due to an accident with a horse and trap where she was thrown in a puddle, and she looked up to heaven and quipped ?God, if this is how you treat your friends, no wonder you have so few.?

I had trouble trusting that God had my back. I was lacking Trust. I was falling into sin or damaging my relationship with God. Trust is the foundation of human relationships. I am human so obviously my part of the relationship was suffering. From early times God has revealed himself to those who follow him so that we could place trust in Him. A long time ago Jeremiah, a prophet living around 600 BC, wrote: For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jer 29:11). I couldn?t see where my future was.

Trust in the goodness of God may seem especially difficult in the face of loss. If a series of losses occur it can feel as if God has turned his back. Jesus taught to come to him with trust for everything and to not worry. Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father?s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So do not be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. (Matt 10:29-31) and Look at the birds of the air: They do not sow or reap or gather into barns - and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not more valuable than they? (Matt 6:26)

This sometimes seems to be hard to believe, especially in the face of loss. Loss of someone loved, loss of a job or income, a divorce or the loss of a pet may make it seem God has left the room. Sometimes we are experiencing what St. John of the Cross called a dark night of the soul. God seems absent, misfortune abounds. At times like this it seems as if the 23rd psalm was written by a foolish optimist. What then?

God is faithful and takes the long view. As many of my friends have told me when one door closes God opens another or shows a window to go through. For me music helps, and for example the song ?You Raise me Up? by Brendan Graham and Rolf Lovland states: ?When I am down, and, oh, my soul, so weary.When troubles come, and my heart burdened be. Then, I am still and wait here in the silence. Until you come and sit awhile with me. You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains. You raise me up to walk on stormy seas. I am strong when I am on your shoulders. You raise me up to more than I can be.?

Prayer, formal, informal, memorized, or free from the heart can bring a moment of quiet and much needed calm. A short time of prayer in the midst of crisis can bring the sense that you caught your breath, and have the strength to go on.

Prayer may be difficult during times of loss or crisis, but God is faithful, cares for us and waits for the chance to lift us up. Pope Francis stated on December 1, 2016 that ?Prayer works miracles...prayers of the faithful change the Church...those who dare to believe that God is the Lord and that He can do everything.? When it is hard, when it seems darkest, when nothing seems to be going as planned prayer can help.

Easter is approaching and we are in the season of Lent. Lent is a time of prayer, penence and fasting prior to Easter that lasts 40 days and begins with Ash Wednesday where individuals may receive ashes on the forehead that can among other things symbolize the grief that we have sinned and caused division from God. Easter is the feast of the Resurrection of Jesus which is the observance of our redemption through him. The Easter season, is a season of hope and renewal. It is a good time to work on trust in times of grief and loss and remembering that God has plans to prosper us.