Place of Prayer and Meditation Causes Concern

My place of prayer and meditation is the bathroom, precisely, sitting on the stool, and has been for the 36 years I have been clean and sober. It is a place that is private and can be found for the most part wherever I am, be it at home, a motel, or someone else's home. Even while traveling, a bathroom stall in the Men's Room works so-so.

My time of prayer and meditation is early in the morning when I arise, and I arise early. This also benefits my privacy as no one else is up yet, tapping on the door, wanting to use the bathroom.

The time spent during prayer and meditation is upward of an hour as I have quite a list, both on paper and mental, of people whom I pray for. Following prayers for specific people, I study my book of daily meditation, and then may read for a while and/or “surf the Net.” I spend so much time on the toilet stool that my legs fall asleep and I have to stand up to restore circulation.

Herein lies the problem. Ginnie showed me an article in the Des Moines Sunday Register that equated spending too much time on the toilet stool with causing hemorrhoids. The article indicated that people who take their smartphone to the bathroom and spend five minutes on the toilet have a likelier chance of sprouting hemorrhoids.

FIVE MINUTES!? I'm spending an hour a day on the toilet seat and, yes, I do have hemorrhoids and, yes, they do bother me and, yes, they do bleed. The bleeding is a major source of concern as I take a blood thinner, Eliquis. I have visions of having to rush to the emergency room, or call an ambulance, due to uncontrollable bleeding. It hasn't happened yet. “Yet” is the operative word.

Normally I would think this subject too gross or in poor taste for newspaper publication. However, the Des Moines Sunday Register devoted a full page, IN COLOR, to this subject, so

I guess it's met the smell test. (Sorry.)

To add to the difficulties, the cancer treatment I just went through was effective in arresting the cancer, but it gave me colitis. Thank you very much. If you don't know what colitis is, don't feel like the lone stranger. I didn't either until it was gifted me. Colitis is an inflammation of the inner lining of the colon. Without going into detail, and grossing you out further, I'll just say that colitis has necessitated me spending more time on the toilet seat. End of conversation.

For you old school people out there, like me, yes, hemorrhoids are also known as “piles.” Don't ask me why, it's kind of strange. In high school, we had a kid whose nickname was Piles. Funny. I never knew why until I am one. “Piles” comes from the Latin term “pila” meaning “ball.” Okay, hemorrhoids are sort of like a ball. Once again, end of subject.

My dilemma is: after 36 years of spending upward of an hour a day in prayer and meditation every morning on the toilet, I'm so addicted to the custom that I don't think I can change even though it may be doing me harm. What am I to do?

I know. I can install a sitz bath in the bathroom and spend the hour in the warm comfort of the sitz, while praying and meditating. When I was 13, and first came down with hemorrhoids (from junior high football) the doctor recommended a sitz bath. I tried one in the hospital after my first surgery for hemorrhoids, and it was warm and comforting, sorta like a bidet, I'm told.

I'm caught between a rock and a hard place, no pun intended. It's important that I pray and meditate every morning, for both me and the people I pray for, but it's also important that I take care of my health. Every time I get in a hurry and think about skipping my morning hour of prayer and meditation, which is almost every morning, I hear the voice of God. “You know, Curtis, I can stop time.”

The life of a monk, prostrate in prayer 24/7, is becoming more appealing every day.

Have a good story? Call or text Curt Swarm in Mt. Pleasant at 319-217-0526 or email him at curtswarm@yahoo.com. Curt is available for public speaking.