Ignoring as bad as bullying

December 13, 2010

Washington, Iowa

To the Editor:

    Bullying has received a lot of attention in our schools lately. It?s right that bullying is not accepted but there is something just as bad or worse than bullying and that?s ignoring. It?s just mean and wrong to bully and bullying is never justified. Yet ignoring is accepted and often justified but can cause just as much if not more hurt and negative consequences than bullying. Plus, ignoring occurs more often. Ignoring communicates an unspoken message the teen is not accepted and does not belong, which is similar to the message of bullying. A teen who is frequently ignored by peers can experience hurt and rejection just as much as a teen who is bullied. Socialization with peers is a necessary and healthy developmental milestone for teens. Ignoring retards this important stage of teen development. A teen who is frequently ignored by peers is not allowed to progress developmentally and can lead the teen to feel hurt, bitter, and worthless which can negatively influence the teen?s attitude and behavior. Teaching children not to bully and our intolerance of bullying is a no-brainer. Being friendly and talking to peers other than close friends is a lesson our children need to learn that is just as important as learning not to bully. Teaching and expecting our children not to bully and not to ignore one another can lead to a friendly and welcoming environment where all kids can feel good about themselves, and says a lot about the character of a school and a community. As adults we need not forget that the best way to teach is to lead by example.

Jon Coon