Local professionals offer advice for speaking to youth about racism

The internet, television and other forms of media are filled with distressing images of racism and its effects. Speaking with children about these topics can be difficult but two local professionals offer advice to parents and guardians for starting the conversation.

Sheila Payne, Student Success Specialist at Iowa Wesleyan University in Mt. Pleasant, said the first step to having a conversation about racism is the willingness to have it.

'I think first and foremost there has to be an open dialogue. Silence doesn't help the issue,” she said.

For many parents, starting that conversation can be difficult, especially when the instinct is to protect their children. However, Payne says through YouTube, social media and the news, they are already aware of what is happening in the world.

Assistant Professor of Psychology at Iowa Wesleyan University, Nathan Hough, said a good way to begin the conversation is by talking about social justice issues. Although kids see what is happening on the news, they do not understand minority vs. majority effect and that progresses into adulthood as the differences become greater and prejudice arises.

'It is our responsibility to stand up for those whose voices are not being heard,” he added.

Asking the child how it makes them feel, what they would do and not being silent on these issues is a way to continue that conversation, Payne added. When working with students, Payne said she reminds them it's OK to feel and not have the answers right away because the problem cannot be solved instantly.

'The problem isn't going to be solved right away. It takes time, it takes change and it won't happen overnight,” she said.

Families need to recognize what is going on the in community and take part in local community events to help families see that impact issues have locally and how neighbors are coming together to fight for change.

'You see so much on the news, social media, all the violence, but we need to realize there is a true flip side to that and speaking out and speaking up does not have to be violent. It can be peaceful,” she said, referencing the prayer vigil the university hosted last week.

Speaking about racism, especially to young children, is difficult, she said.

'As a parent, it's hard because sometimes I don't even want to address and look at it,” she said. 'Sheltering is only hiding and not confronting the issue. The issue still is going to be there so I think that's why we need to approach the issue with our kids because the silence does no good.”

Depending on the age range of the child, Payne suggests people meet the child at their level and from their standpoint. Hough agreed this is a tough topic but said it is one kids can handle.

For parents having a difficult time addressing it, he suggests they take a step back and understand their own beliefs. By knowing where they firmly stand on the matter can help parents bring that insight to a level that is appropriate for their children.

A healthy place to start is beginning with defining what racism is, which populations it affects, identifying those and looking back to history to educate the family, Payne said.

'I look to the past to help define what racism is and how it has changed our culture and our society and tell my students to look toward the past when we're talking about racism and to look at all the situations that people have fought for, have protested for and look to that for how to guide you for how to deal with racism,” she said.

Hough said another way to address racism is by breaking it down and talking about privilege. Most students can identify someone who is treated differently because they do hot have a lot of money or new clothes, for example. Treating people who are not the same as everyone else differently is a form of racism, he said.

'They become these outsiders in the school so we treat them differently because they're not like us,” he said, adding its important to break down that racism is not just about ethnicity but about a slew of other factors including socio-economic status and religion.

Addressing this information as a parent is important, Payne said, because then the parent can be sure the child is getting accurate information. By using language that the children understand and asking questions on how it makes them feel, how they would react and what they would do differently, creates a comfortable environment to learn in.

Hough said these issues need to be addressed especially during these times because feelings of being frightened are valid, but the dark times will not last forever.

'Because it is a scary time, we need to understand how to effectively approach the issue,” he said. 'They definitely need to reinforce that yes, this is a scary time, but this is something we will get through and this is how we can take action to get through it.”