People's Business: Funnel cake candidates

Believe it or not, that sweaty guy in front of you in the funnel cake line, his smiling face smeared with pork chop grease, might be the next president of the United States.

That's the beauty of the Iowa State Fair - it's a magical place where any guy with a blue polo shirt, neatly-pressed khakis and a dream can run for president.

Our next generation of national and state leaders is on daily display, just like mutant tomatoes and giant boars.

They're walking among us - right there, between the woman who, truthfully, should not be wearing spandex and the guy with the great big tattoo of a?whoa.

Never mind.

The fairgrounds are a political proving ground. Sure, any candidate can order a corn dog and say "ethanol" at the beginning of every sentence. But can he or she really captivate the tank top dads and tube top moms who will decide the next two elections?

Some wannabes melt like fried cheese curds. Others rise like the price of beer. Either way, it's fun to watch.

For those of you visiting the fair, here's a tour of some political hotspots.

The Varied Industries Building - On Aug. 12, 1999, brand new Iowa Gov. Tom Vilsack announced that "Fields of Opportunities" would be Iowa's brand new state slogan.

It narrowly beat out "Slots, Silos and Sows," "Plenty of Free Parking" and "Iowa - Address Changing."

The Butter Cow - Shouts of "Move it Bob" echoed through the Agriculture Building in 2003 when then-U.S. Sen. Bob Graham of Florida stopped the butter cow viewing line to deliver a brief lecture on his dairy farming experiences. Like the cow, his campaign soon hit its expiration date.

That same year, Vermont Democrat Howard Dean received the endorsement of butter cow sculptor Duffy Lyon. Dean was very excited to visit the fair.

"We're going to the butter cow, to the midway, to the giant boar, to the sheep show, to the pork tent, to Ye Olde Mill?.eeeyaahhhhh," he said.

Food Stands - Candidates flock to fried fair food like moths to a flame.

U.S. Sen. Joe Lieberman of Connecticut famously tried a deep-fried Twinkie along the Grand Concourse in 2003, with a mob of reporters looking on. His mouth said "delicious" while his facial expression said "please get me a bucket."

In 1987 I was standing in line to buy ice-cold lemonade just off the midway when I was shoved aside by a mob surrounding Mass-achusetts Gov. Michael Dukakis.

He then bit into a roast beef sandwich to the tune of 20 camera shutters. I took my lemonade business elsewhere.

U.S. Rep. Dick Gephardt of Missouri won the caucuses in 1988. Maybe it's because he wasn't a big fat line budger.

The Soap Box - For the past few years The Des Moines Register has invited candidates to speak from a pile of straw bales along the Grand Concourse. For some candidates it's been a tough sledding.

In 2004, Democratic U.S. Senate candidate Art Small of Iowa City tried to give his speech while the annual veterans parade passed by. Except for all the dirty looks and shouting it really went pretty well.

Sen. Graham is the only candidate I know of who sang at the soapbox. He belted out "You Have a Friend in Bob Graham" along with his wife, his children and a legion of very cute grandchildren.

The Big Slide - One of the fair's most popular attractions was closed on Aug. 14, 2002, when President Bush spoke to about 2,000 people on the fairgrounds. Secret Service agents were convinced the slide was a big yellow plastic security risk.

Ironically, the big slide became the unofficial theme of Bush's second term.

Todd Dorman is Statehouse Bureau Chief for Lee Enterprises newspapers.