People's Business: Governor Idol

More than 63 million votes were cast in last week's "American Idol" finale, more votes than any U.S. president has received.

At the same time, Iowa Democrats are lamenting how only a fraction of registered party voters will bother showing up for the June 6 primary election.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Of course you are.

Democrats should decide their gubernatorial primary race just like American Idol.

All the candidates have to do is show up. We'll provide the songs.

Mike Blouin: To the tune of "Blowing in the Wind."

"How many stands can one man take on issues like choice and stem cells? Yes n' how many times can he switch on a dime, without setting off alarm bells? Yes n' how many jobs can he claim to create before his nose starts to swell?

"Don't answer, my friend, I'm Blouin, I can win. Don't answer I'm Blouin, I can win."

"How many ads will it take till he pulls even with that big blonde galoot? Yes n' how many times will Fallon crack wise before I give him the boot? Yes n' why did I get back into this game when I could have made so much loot?

"Don't answer my friend, I'm Blouin I can win. Don't answer I'm Blouin I can win."

Chet Culver: To the tune of "Cat's In the Cradle."

"Announced my campaign for governor just the other day. Started off in the usual way. There was a speech to give and music played. They all liked what I had to say. I was done 'fore I knew it, and as I walked away I said, 'I'm gonna be like you dad, I'm gonna be like you.'

"So Chet's in the race with a silver spoon. Ethanol fuel would sure be a boon. Am I gonna win dad? 'I don't know son. We're raising money by the ton. We're gonna have so much fun."

Now the primary is just days away. Staff says 'Gotta play it safe, Chet. Can't let it get away.'

"Can I give a speech? 'Not today. We've got a lot to lose.' I said That's OK.' But as I walked away my smile never dimmed 'cause I'm gonna win this big, dad, I know I'm gonna win this big."

"So Chet's in the race with a silver spoon. He'll build an auto plant in Waterloo. Am I gonna win dad? 'I think so son. Looks like it's in the bag, Chet. But the votes aren't counted yet.'"

Ed Fallon: To the tune "Fly Me to the Moon"

"I must be a loon To think I'd win without some cash. Both my big opponents. Have bankrolls they can flash. In other words, I need some luck. In other words, spare a buck?

"But there's no need to panic, Though we're getting lots of static. People say I'm not electable, just because I eat organic.

"In other words, I'm offbeat. In other words, try some leeks."

(Accordion solo)

"Fill my minivan with gas, let me drive for evermore, I'm less scared of losing, Than I am of urban sprawl.

"In other words, vote for me. In other words, in other words hug a tree."

?Todd Dorman is statehouse bureau chief for Lee Enterprises newspapers.