Susan See visits women?s shelter in Cambodia

Maui, Cancun and Barbados are a few places most people would like to spend a week in January. Susan See is not most people. The Washington resident and local piano teacher spent a week in January in an unusual vacation spot: Cambodia. See went there to visit her friend Sherry Lile, whom she has known since childhood. Lile has lived in the country since 1993 and works with women and girls who have been sexually exploited. Although she didn?t speak the country?s main language ? Khmer ? See taught music to the women, which for them was both fun and therapeutic.

See and Lile grew up in north central Missouri. Lile is from the small town of New Boston (pop. 382) and See is from the neighboring and even smaller town of Ethel (pop. 62). In junior high, Lile became interested in mission work after a missionary from Africa visited her church.

?At the time, I thought all missionaries went to Africa,? recalled Lile.

Lile entered the mission field and instead of going to Africa she landed in China. Lile served in China from 1989 to 1991. While there, she taught all manner of classes to young people ranging from statistics to the philosophy of tourism.

Lile returned to the states in 1991 but within a year was back overseas, this time in Thailand. In 1993, Lile found herself in another Southeast Asian nation ? Cambodia, now her permanent home.

Lile and her friend Debbie Tetsch taught at a university in the nation?s capital, Phnom Penh (pronounced ?puh-nawm pen?). As they traveled throughout the city, they couldn?t help but notice the women standing in doorways wearing short skirts and heavy makeup.

?Cambodia is a very modest, discreet culture, so that was really out of place,? said Lile.

Lile and Tetsch wanted to help these women escape sexual exploitation. They sought shelter for the women and taught them other means of earning a living.

?If there were education and opportunities for income generation, they would not choose this path,? said Lile.

Many of the women Lile works with were prostituted at a young age. She said that purity is highly esteemed in Cambodia, and that women bring shame on their family if they lose their virginity before marriage.

?If a girl has lost her virginity, she may voluntarily enter into prostitution because she sees herself as having no worth and unable to marry,? said Lile. ?If these girls want to do something different, they can?t go back to their home village because they have disgraced their family. They carry a terrible stigma.?

The missionaries believed that the older women were overlooked and thus focused their attention on that group. Lile said the incidence of AIDS increased markedly in the 1990s, and that many who were abused and exploited died of AIDS before reaching old age.

In 1999, Lile and Tetsch founded a safe-haven for exploited women they called ?White Lotus,? a reference to how something beautiful can emerge from a dark beginning. White Lotus houses women for two years and provides them medical care, education, job training and therapy. Lile said many of her residents need trauma counseling because of the horrific experiences of their sexual exploitation.

White Lotus teaches the women a wide variety of subjects such as reading, math, dance, music and computers. It allows the women to explore careers in crocheting, jewelry, card-making, candle-making and cosmetology, just to name a few.

?We make greeting cards out of handmade paper,? said Lile. ?Some of these girls have never colored or held scissors. When they make these pretty greeting cards, it?s not only something that generates income but it?s therapeutic because it shows them they can make something beautiful.?

Lile and See have kept in close contact over the years. See was aware of Lile?s work with women through Lile?s newsletters, but she wanted to see her work up close and in person.

?When you want to develop compassion for someone, it?s easier to do it when you can put a face to it,? said See. ?That?s when you make a connection to the person.?

A few years ago, See told Lile she would visit her in Cambodia.

?Then I thought, ?What did I just say??? said See. ?I don?t think I can do it. I have a disability called I.G.L. ? I Get Lost. That was my main concern.?

See later told the entire student body at IMS she would visit Cambodia, and the students held her to that promise. See flew from the United States to Cambodia in January, where she would spend one week. She went to encourage her friend Lile. Little did she know that she would be called upon to teach a class.

?I asked Sherry if there were anything I could do, and I was thinking of yard work,? said See.

Another American took hand chimes to White Lotus. Lile suggested to See that she teach the women how to play them.

?I was a little nervous, but it worked out fine,? said See.

See does not speak any Khmer, so she occasionally relied on an interpreter to relay a message to her class. She also used gestures and other creative signals to pass instructions to her pupils. See assigned each chime a color, and when it was time to play that chime, she pointed to its color on a chart.

?Music can be your connection when you don?t have the words to communicate,? said See. ?I saw a change in the girls during the week. I hope someone will step in again and do this with the girls. They were excited every day when it was music time.?

The women didn?t know any English, although they were enchanted with one word See taught them ? ?awesome.?

?They liked the way it sounded,? said See.

See encountered a few surprises upon arriving in Phnom Penh. She did not realize that her sight-seeing would be from the back of a motorcycle. In fact, motorcycles and bicycles litter the streets of Phnom Penh. Lile said whole families ride on a motorcycle; sometimes as many as six people. See took video of her motorcycle trips and posted the videos to Youtube.

She was careful not to take pictures of the women who stayed at White Lotus to preserve their anonymity. See said she couldn?t express herself as she normally does back home, to avoid attracting unwanted attention to herself or White Lotus.

?My attitude was like, ?Hi, how are you? I?m from Iowa,?? said See.

Lile took See to a number of historic places in the country. They went to a concert where they heard traditional Cambodian drumming. See said it was unlike anything she had ever heard.

See said she is glad she went on the trip. She was heartened to see all the good White Lotus has done and is doing.

?A lot of people want to do good in the world, and that gives me hope,? said See.