April has arrived

    An unusual thing happened recently during my daily 20-mile jog. This was taking longer than my typical hour because I needed to stop along the way to rescue a family of 17 from their burning house.

    This is not the unusual part. Although rescuing a family from a burning building is not an everyday occurance, this was hardly the first time I had done that.

    What was unusual on that day was what I found in a duffel bag in a ditch along the road a few minutes after I resumed my jogging.  I considered ignoring the duffel bag because I had already been delayed but I decided it was my duty as a citizen to inspect what was likely lost property.

    The duffel bag was filled with money, stacks of bills neatly wrapped in 50-bill packets. Of course the idea of keeping the money for myself never crossed my mind. The bag is now in the back seat of my car while I attempt to locate the owner.

    I figure it belongs to a family who scrimped and saved for years to buy a nice home in Beverly Hills. It was probably strapped to the top of their station wagon along with their camping gear and simply slipped off.

    The bills are all of the same denomination. If you can name the publisher/inventor pictured on the front of each bill, you can contact me and claim the money.

    When I found the money, I carried it on my back while I finished my jog. I came across a river or lake or something where a child was drowning. I rescued the child and performed CPR or CPA or something.

    Unfortunately, in my haste to save the child?s life, I neglected to remove the duffel bag before jumping into the water.

    The bills got wet and the ink ran a little. You can still tell what the denomination is and I?m sure the bank will exchange them for undamaged bills.

    Also during my jog, I found the Hope Diamond in some bushes. I recognized it immediately from having seen it at the Smithsonian Institute in Washington, D.C. If the Hope family wants it back, they can give me a call.

    Happy first day of April,