Mary Lou Wilcox Doak

Mary Lou Wilcox Doak

Des Moines

Soul Mates

Mary Lou Wilcox Doak had a strong soul. Rather, she has a strong soul, for we know that the souls of people survive their physical death, which for Mary Lou occurred on April 21, 2025, at age 83. Those who knew her were well aware of her strength of soul, her presence. You knew when Mary Lou was there even in a silent room.

Let’s begin with a vision of Mary Lou as a girl, riding her horse Copper on the country lanes around her hometown, Mt. Pleasant, IA, her waist-deep pony tail flying in the wind. She rode almost every day after chores. Farmers would phone her parents, Everett and Mary Jane Wilcox, to let them know they had seen Mary Lou go by. So began a lifelong soulful connection with animals. Later, as a young bride in Ames and suburban Des Moines, she trained a blond cocker spaniel named Daphne to be one of the highest scoring obedience dogs in Iowa. Mary Lou taught herself how to appraise the performance of obedience dogs and was regularly hired to judge AKC obedience trials throughout the Midwest.

She kept up with horses, too. Besides keeping Copper, Lady, Cinnamon, Gypsy, and Sassy like pets in the back yard acreage, she spent several summers sweltering in the State Fair Livestock Pavilion while writing reviews of horse shows for the Des Moines Register. But all that was secondary. Her real life’s focus was family, including the raising of four accomplished daughters: Jennifer (Dan) Webster of Johnston, Mary Lyn (Pete) Sailor of Ames, Amy (Greg) Moore of Newton and Danielle (Zac) Christensen of Grimes, with 14 grandchildren and one great-grandchild. She learned a new profession, accounting, and went to work to pay for the kids’ college.

Mary Lou was a founding member of St. Mary of Nazareth Catholic Church, where she sang in the choir for 50 years. In later years as her body gave out, she literally crawled up the stairs to the choir loft every Sunday. As a volunteer, she served on the Johnston Park Board, Johnston Board of Adjustment and an advisory committee for Des Moines Area Education Agency.

Mary Lou met her husband, Richard, when they were students at Iowa State University. His warmest memories of their campus romance do not involve rah-rah college parties or pep rallies. Rather, they are moments spent together on overstuffed couches in the quiet rooms of Memorial Union, pretending to study but actually just absorbing one another’s presence. For soul mates, simply being together is joy enough. And so it was for 64 years together, always most at peace when quietly in each other’s company.

Perhaps in the quiet if we envision that little girl with her horse or that aging woman climbing to the choir loft, we can still feel her presence.

The family greeted visitors from 10 to 11 a.m. Friday, April 25, 2025, at St. Mary of Nazareth Catholic Church followed by a funeral Mass at 11 a.m. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made in her honor to the St. Mary of Nazareth church choir. Iles Westover Chapel in Des Moines is handling arrangements. Online condolences are welcome at www.IlesCares.com.