Death of a Town

It?s not often that one can witness the death of a town. The demise is usually a gradual process of population dwindling to nothing, mostly because the family farm is fading away. But when the town?s mayor publicly announces a city council vote to unincorporate, it is worthy of attention. And attendance.

Especially when the town is Mount Sterling. Tiny Mount Sterling, next to the Missouri State Line in Van Buren County, jumped to international prominence a few years ago when its mayor, Jo Hamlett (now deceased), announced jokingly in his weekly newspaper column, that the city council would vote on a resolution that would ban lying. Even a Japanese news team showed up! Extending the joke further, it was decided the resolution could not be voted on because the town marshal, Charlie Brewer, paid one dollar a month, was the biggest liar of all. Or, another ending to the story goes, Mount Sterling, a popular hunting and fishing village, is so full of liars, the whole town would be in the pokey. Take your pick.

Mayor Jo Hamlett (the real liar), continued to have fun with his newspaper column. He bragged about the wintertime skiing that people enjoyed in beautiful Mount Sterling (there is no mountain). On at least one occasion, a befuddled motorist showed up, skis strapped to the car roof, looking for ?The Mountain.? Oh, what fun the locals had!

So with notepad and camera in hand, I set off for ?beautiful Mount Sterling? to witness its final city council meeting. No trip to Mount Sterling is complete without stopping at AJ?s Bar and Grill to eat. Every restaurant and tavern in the Midwest has the biggest tenderloin. AJ?S HAS THE BIGGEST! I ordered the tenderloin. ?Jumbo?? I was asked. ?Sure.? I ordered it cut in half. ?Do you want two buns?? ?Sure.? The ?half? a tenderloin was as big as the plate. I had the other ?half? put in a to-go box?good for two, maybe three meals, or weight in the back end of a pick-up truck.

Once again the media invaded Mount Sterling, and they all stopped at AJ?s before the city council meeting. Mixed with locals, talk revolved around questions such as, would Mount Sterling still be on the map? Would addresses remain the same? Would street maintenance be better or worse with the county performing it? What is the population of Mount Sterling? No one knew for sure, and guesstimates ranged wildly from 20 to 100. (I wish the state still put populations on town signs.)

The ?city council meeting? was fun. Mayor Tom Allen had found and used the city's gavel for the first time. Besides the mayor, city council members included Tom's wife, DiAnna Allen, and Tonya Putnam?a quorum in Mount Sterling, not to be confused with ?quarrel.? At the last election, no one ran for city council and not a single vote was cast. The three members stayed on to see Mount Sterling put to sleep gracefully.

Also, there was not a single citizen of Mt. Sterling present at this rather important meeting, other than the three city council people. Of the eight people attending (the most since the ?lying ordinance?), there were three media types, two students from a high school economics class (what an education!), the county sheriff, a member of RUSS, and a county official.

I kept hoping or expecting the ghost of Jo Hamlett to appear. And in a way, he did. I'm not lying here, folks. Mayor Tom Allen was actually wearing Jo Hamlett's striped bib overalls and cowboy boots. Scouts' honor.

It was noted that Jo Hamlett was instrumental in helping Mount Sterling get a sewer system, and when the streets were seal coated, Jo paid half the expense. He loved Mount Sterling.

Bottom line: the resolution of discontinuance of Mount Sterling passed. Mayor Tom Allen slammed the gavel down, sounding the death knell.

Unable to contain herself, council person, DiAnna Allen sang out, ?Second verse, same as the first?--lyrics from a ?60s Herman and the Hermits song, in preparation for a second resolution to pay final expenses and turn money over to the county. DiAnna clamped her hand over her mouth, as husband/mayor Tom Allen rolled his eyes.

To paraphrase another ?60s ballad, ?All good things must come to an end, same with the wildwood flower.? Rest in peace, Mount Sterling. The lies will continue for some time at AJ's and, you never know. With interest growing in restoration of wetlands, and Jo Hamlett's young relatives coming of age, Mount Sterling may hang in there. There's a few more whoppers to be told. It's an art form.

Have a good story? Call Curt Swarm in Mt. Pleasant at 319-217-0526, email him at curtswarm@yahoo.com, or visit his website at www.empty-nest-words-photos-and-frames.com .