Oscar bait

The Oscars are this weekend. As a millennial fresh out of college I don't have cable or even a converter box for standard TV channels. I just have a Neflix account that my mom hasn't kicked me off yet. But as a former arts reporter I am very interested in the films that are up for nomination.

Have I seen all these films? No.

Have I seen most of these films? Probably not.

Do I have in-depth opinions on every single solitary one of them? 100 percent.

Here I'll be going through some of the films in a few categories and giving my thoughts on if they should win and/or if they will actually win.

BEST FILM EDITING: I think 'Bohemian Rhapsody” is going to take this one. I think 'BlacKkKlansman” has some really powerful moments of editing that probably evoked more in me with simple cutaways to face framed by a black background than any other film this year. But Bohemian Rhapsody has Queen music. If you're going to impress people with editing, Queen music is a surefire way to do it.

BEST VISUAL EFFECTS: I haven't seen 'Christopher Robin” because all I had to do was look at a poster for the CGI Winnie the Pooh doll to infect my nightmares. Seeing the movie might be the final blow. As for 'Solo: A Star Wars Story,” 'Ready Player One” and 'Avengers: Infinity War,” I think the smart money is on 'Ready Player One” since it was directed by Steven Spielberg and the Academy won't mind another chance to give him an Oscar. 'Solo”'s visual effects were good, but the Star Wars franchise hasn't won an Oscar since my parents were my age. That said, watching 'Avenger: Infinity War” is essentially an all CGI movie which managed to solicit the same reaction from me as if Tom Holland was actually turning to dust, so I think it stands a solid chance.

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE: I want 'Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse” to win so, so badly. The movie's title is ridiculous. I know and accept this, but I still really want the film to win. But I know 'Isle of Dogs” is going to win. I'm not even mad, though, because 'Isle of Dogs” is a great movie and Wes Anderson's other animated film, 2010s 'The Fantastic Mr. Fox” didn't stand a chance against the unfiltered joy and melancholy that was Pixar's 'Up.” 'Isle of Dogs” is a deserving film. (Just not as deserving as Into the Spider-Verse.)

BEST PRODUCTION DESIGN: I'd like to be able to convince myself 'Black Panther” is going to win this, because the costumes and sets are amazing. But I think 'Mary Poppins Returns” matches the sensibilies of the Academy a little bit more, and from what I've seen all of the set pieces are absolutely delightful. Because of its lack of 2-D dancing penguins and it's of Dick Van Dyke cutting a rug at 93 years young, I don't think 'Black Panther”' will win here.

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE: In terms of music, I only know what four years of band at my county's only charter high school was able to teach me, but I think Black Panther deserves this one. It uses more traditional African instrumentation without being distracting in the film, but if you listen to it separate from the movie, you too will be chanting 'T'Challa” as you best your enemies on the edge of a waterfall before hundreds of spectators.

BEST ORIGINAL SONG: It's a darn tragedy 'What's Up Danger” from 'Into the Spider-Verse” wasn't nominated. That said, the award should go to 'Trip a Little Light Fantastic” from 'Mary Poppins Returns.” Unfortunately that wasn't the song they nominated from 'Mary Poppins Returns.” So I guess I'm rooting for 'All the Stars” from 'Black Panther,” which isn't even the best song on the album Kendrick Lamar curated for the movie, but 'City of Stars” wasn't even the third best song when it won for 'La La Land” last year, so here we are.

BEST COSTUME DESIGN: I love the costume design for 'Black Panther” and I want that movie to take home as many of these tiny gold men as possible so they can melt them down and make a big golden black panther out of them. That said, 'Mary Queen of Scotts” has amazing costume design and has one foot planted a little bit more firmly in our world, so I won't even be mad when it wins.

BEST DIRECTOR: Hollywood, I'm going to be real with you. Just give it to Spike Lee. Do the right thing and give it to Spike Lee. Do the right thing so the next time he's nominated we don't have to all make 'Do the Right Thing” jokes.

BEST PICTURE: Now, there's been a lot of talk with me and the people I know about whether or not 'Black Panther” deserves to be nominated for best picture. Some say it was just average, some say it was good but not THAT good, some say that 'Avenger: Infinity War” was better. And all of those except the last one are valid opinions to have. People are 100 percent allowed to have any opinion they want about a movie.

But for my money, this was a movie that was fun to watch, had a tight screenplay, a diverse cast, a story that surprised me, solid performances across the board ... special effects were spotty in places but we're going to ignore that. Point being, I think 'Black Panther” earned its seat at the table

And even if you disagree with me, you've got to admit, if 'Shakespeare In Love” can win over 'Saving Private Ryan” then you can at least see how 'Black Panther” can be here, right?

So in my opinion. hands down, the best picture Oscar should go to 'BlacKkKlansman.”

Hollywood.

Do the right thing.