Stephen Bloom Hates Iowa

In case you haven?t heard, one of the University of Iowa?s sorta famous writer/professors has written a scathing attack on Iowa, published in ?The Atlantic,? questioning why Iowa is first in the nation with the political caucuses. Good question. And it?s a question a lot of Iowans are asking, although we definitely enjoy the notoriety, not to mention the money it brings into the state. The problem is, it?s OK for Iowans to criticize Iowa, but not cool for an outsider like Bloom. Bloom has been at U of I for 20 years (raking in a state-funded professor?s salary), but is from San Francisco. He gained notoriety several years ago with his book ?Postville? about a small Iowa town taken over by Hasidic Jewish meat packers. Evidently Bloom felt vindicated, because several years later the packing plant was shut down for deplorable working conditions and hiring illegal immigrants.

Bloom is currently a visiting professor at the University of Michigan, so perhaps he felt the distance from Iowa would save him. We?ll see. He may go the way of Jane Smiley, who, as you may remember, was Iowa State?s Pulitzer Prize winning writer/professor. As rumor has it, she was run out of town after writing ?Moo?--a satirical novel about a Midwestern, land-grant university strangely similar to Iowa State. As we all know, Iowa State?s nickname for many years was ?Moo U? because of its veterinarian and agricultural colleges. Don?t bite the hand that feeds you.

You can find Bloom?s article at www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2011/12/observations-from-20-years-of-iowa-life/249401/

There?s a catchy photo-shopped rendition of an Iowa highway bordered by cornfields and an Iowa farmhouse. It?s a two-way highway, but the traffic is going the same direction in both lanes, over a hill, in a no-passing zone ? the implication being, I?m guessing, that Iowa is headed dangerously in the wrong direction, traveling one way on a two-way street. I dunno.

Taking cheap shots at a state is a cheap shot. I venture to say I, or he, or anyone could take the same cheap shots at any state. So what?s the point?

In an almost racial slur, Bloom even criticizes the University of Iowa for recruiting Chinese students. And he?s Jewish. Be thankful that the university does recruit Chinese students. In this manner we might have doctors in the not-too-distant future when Medicare cuts reimbursement.

Bloom calls Iowa a state of the elderly. He?s right. Iowa does have a high percentage of the elderly. Why? Because it?s a safe place to live!

He says Iowa?s greatest export is its youth. Right again. The youth leave, after being educated, to sunnier climes (and higher costs of living), then return to this safe environment to retire.

I, myself, returned to Iowa, in a type of reverse migration, at mid life, to a saner way of living?a move I have never regretted, and have prospered from immensely.

Bloom fails to mention that Iowa has a much lower unemployment rate than the national average. The drop is attributed to the increase in industrial jobs.

Bloom calls the Mississippi River ?commercially irrelevant.? Tell that to the farmers shipping grain down river to feed the world. And, oh yes, he calls the Mississippi River town of Keokuk a ?crime-infested slum.? Tell that to James Vandenberg, Iowa?s quarterback, from Keokuk. Bloom professes to be a Hawkeye fan.

Maybe Bloom would like his home state of California to be first in the nation with a caucus or primary. We could then take cheap shots at it, which would be easy to do. We could Photoshop a picture of San Francisco?s fog engulfing the brains of voters, California?s coast line crumbling into the sea, and Californians Californicating to the Midwest. The caption could read, ?And These Are the People First to Vote?? But then we?d be lowering ourselves to his standards.

Mr. Bloom, bloom where you?re planted.

Have a good story? Call Curt Swarm in Mt. Pleasant at 319-217-0526, email him at curtswarm@yahoo.com, or visit his website at www.empty-nest-words-photos-and-frames.com