Unprotected sex: Valentine for world

To the editor:

The U.S. Government has issued its latest commandment to humanity last Friday: Thou shalt receive free contraception from your employer, without paying a deductible. This ?Obamacare? mandate includes religious institutions. The right of a 30-year-old to get free condoms from his boss trumps the First Amendment.

However, apparently, there is not a condom big enough to protect 78-year-old Dr. Lazar Greenfield from the treatment he has received from the American College of Surgeons. Perhaps it is poetic justice, since Dr. Greenfield had been forced to resign last April as president elect of that august body after citing a study in a ?Surgery News? editorial that women having unprotected sex are happier ? less depression, less suicides.

That editorial was issued last Valentine?s Day. Bad timing, Dr. G.

It read, in part:

?It?s been known since the 1990s that heterosexual women living together synchronize their menstrual cycles because of pheromones, but when a study of lesbians showed that they do not synchronize, the researchers suspected that semen played a role.

?In fact, they found ingredients in semen that include mood enhancers like estrone, cortisol, prolactin, oxytocin, and serotonin; a sleep enhancer, melatonin; and of course, sperm, which makes up only 1 percent to 5 percent. Delivering these compounds into the richly vascularized vagina also turns out to have major salutary effects for the recipient.?

Naughty, naughty Dr. G.

Apparently, his female fellow knife-wielders do not want to read such things on Valentine?s Day ? or any other day. In a cutting remark, Surgeon Colleen Brophy said, ?The editorial was just a symptom of a much larger problem.?

But wait a moment, Dr. B. Isn?t unprotected sex actually the solution to larger problems? In fact, don?t you owe your very existence to unprotected sex? Besides reducing depression and suicide attempts in females, unprotected sex may well be the cure to our Social Security deficit. A large part of that problem is the shrinking number of workers to a growing retiree population. We have it on good authority that unprotected sex may result in pregnancy. And pregnancy may result in more workers (give or take 20 years) contributing to the Social Security fund. About the only drawback to unprotected sex is advocating it, such as Dr. G did; causing him to go from the worker column to the retiree column.

Heck, with the birth dearth in Europe and the U.S., unprotected sex may yet save Western Civilization.

Even the Bible?s first commandment to mankind is ?have unprotected sex,? (pa-ru vra-bu in Hebrew) or, as usually translated, ?Be fruitful and multiply.? I know it?s tough to follow commandments, but those who follow this particular one claim it is not unpleasant to fulfill.

By telling what he knows about fulfilling this commandant, Surgeon Greenfield ended up falling on his own scalpel. His colleagues also forced his resignation as editor-in-chief of Surgery News and the entire Valentine?s Day issue was withdrawn. Instead of using a scalpel, it seems they used a chainsaw.

Dr. G should have avoided the other aspect of the First Amendment and just fulfilled the latest Commandment from government.

? H. Ben Winkler, Fairfield