Preparing for an empty nest: A new chapter for parents

AMES — As children leave home for college, military service, employment or independent living, parents enter a new phase of life — one filled with change, reflection and opportunity.

With a positive mindset and thoughtful planning, this transition can be both meaningful and empowering, says Barbara Dunn Swanson, a health and human sciences educator with Iowa State University Extension and Outreach.

“Parenthood is a lifelong journey of adjustments,” said Swanson. “When your child moves out, your parenting role shifts. It’s natural to feel a mix of emotions — pride, sadness, excitement and even uncertainty.”

As parents move from the daily demands of raising children to rediscovering time for themselves and their relationships, a wide range of outcomes is possible. Some may mourn the quiet house, while others embrace the freedom. Many experience both.

“There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to this transition,” Swanson said. “But giving it some thought ahead of time can make the adjustment smoother.”

Swanson offers these suggestions for embracing the empty nest:

Acknowledge the impact. Your family dynamic is changing, and so is your relationship with your child. Tending to your own emotions helps you support your young adult’s independence.

Rekindle your relationship. With fewer parenting responsibilities, couples can reconnect and rediscover shared interests.

Prioritize self-care. Eat well, get outside, exercise and rest. Tending to your physical and mental health helps you feel your best.

Pursue interests. Revisit hobbies, volunteer or plan long-postponed vacations. This is your time to explore passions that may have been on hold.

Lean on friends. Talk with trusted friends who can listen without trying to fix things. Sharing your feelings helps normalize the experience.

Celebrate the milestone. Your child is launching into an exciting phase of life — and you’ve helped them get there. Take pride in that accomplishment.

While many parents find joy in this new stage, others may struggle with loneliness or relationship strain. If sadness interferes with daily life, it’s important to seek support.

“We go to the doctor when we’re physically unwell,” Swanson said. “We should treat emotional health the same way. With the right support, many people rediscover joy and purpose.”

Iowans can call the ISU Extension and Outreach Iowa Concern Hotline at 800-447-1985 for help and referrals related to emotional well-being. The Iowa Concern website also offers a live chat feature to connect with trained counselors. Agencies and professionals can contact ISU Extension and Outreach county offices for hotline business cards to distribute.