You’re fine as you are

To the Editor:

My kids are grown, but I found myself thinking about how I would explain what transgender means to a typical gender conforming young person. I thought it might work for grown ups too. I might ask, “Are you a boy or a girl?” “A boy,” says the young man. I’d say, “Yes, you’re a boy. Am I a man or a woman?” They would look at my beard and maybe giggle and say, “A man.”

“That’s right, I’m a man. I know what I am, just like you know what you are. What if I told you you were a girl? What if everybody told you that you were a girl? You know you’re a boy. What if people mocked you, said you were confused, that it’s just a phase or that you’re looking for attention, and made special rules about you saying you were a girl? Those people would be wrong. Those people would be bullies.

“I learned when I was young that we have to stand up to bullies. Especially when it’s hard. Being brave isn’t not being scared, it’s doing what’s right when you’re scared. When it’s hard. I still have a bump above my right eye that I got when I was young to remind me to stand up to bullies.

“It’s easy for me and you, our bodies match up with who we know we are. It isn’t easy for transgender people because that doesn’t match. But we want people to be themselves, just like we want you to be yourself.”

That’s what I would tell a child, and I think they would understand.

Steve Zubrod, Williamsburg