A social media hiatus

I was scrolling through pictures of my friends traveling through China, living the dream in New York City, serving on a two-year mission in Peru and walking on the beach in California when I realized I couldn't live my life like this anymore.

When my alarm went off in the morning, I would pick up my phone and scroll through Instagram. On my lunch break, I would catch up on Twitter. Before I could call it a night, hours would be spent on Facebook.

Social media was more my reality than anything else, and it was subduing me into an unhappiness that I felt I had no control over.

I used to think social media was the best part of my day. It's a peek into my friends' lives or a way to live vicariously through a Kardashian. It's making connections with people halfway around the world. Facebook Messenger is one of my main avenues of communicating with my friends.

Social media has a time and place. I am the biggest fan of Twitter you will ever meet. It's an easy way for me to get the headlines from every news outlet you can think of and read about one topic from a dozen different political perspectives.

I was the first to hear about a new beauty trend. Or another fire in California. Or that flu season was on the horizon (it's here, by the way). Or to read President Donald Trump's new hot take on CNN. Or whatever else could possibly be trending that hour.

Is the fear of missing out worth the anxiety of trying to keep up with other people's edited reality? I had to ask myself as I clicked the little 'x” in the corner of my Facebook, Twitter and Instagram app to delete it from my iPhone.

This isn't the first time I've deleted the apps from my phone. I remember resolving to end the reign of social media more than once in college but always found myself logging in on my laptop a few hours later. What can I say? I have no willpower.

This time was different though. Social media was making me seriously unhappy when I wanted to be so desperately content with my life in this moment.

That was just about a month ago.

It's strange. I still find myself every once in a while on Facebook on my computer scrolling past New York Times articles, recipes from food bloggers, long-lost friends' wedding photos and a ridiculous amount of advertisements. But I have no desire to put those apps back on my phone.

That's progress, and it also tells me that I don't need the junk in my life.

I subscribed to the New Yorker a few weeks ago - mostly for the free tote bag - but the feeling of reading through an actual paper magazine is incredible. Of course, as a print journalist, I have to say that.

I finished two books this month that have been sitting on my bookshelf for a year.

I started journaling again and creating a plan for what I want my future to look like instead of mindlessly passing the hours on my phone.

Maybe social media isn't your vice. Maybe it's football (I don't mean to call you out, but it never. ends.) or talking on the phone too much or constantly checking your email or any other distraction you invite into your life.

We are not static beings. We're dynamic. We can change and grow and become who we want to be. I decided I don't want to be someone who is distracted. I want to live intentionally and in the moment.

For me, that means cutting social media for a while, and honestly, I think this time it's going to last.