DVIP Awareness: financial abuse keeps victims stuck

IOWA — October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and The Southeast Iowa Union is partnering with the Domestic Violence Intervention Program to share victim-survivor stories.

The following is a true narrative from a survivor-victim of not only physical abuse but financial, as well. The name has been changed to protect their identity.

Melanie had been in and out of the ER for the past couple of years for a variety of injuries. She lost count of how many times she came in with a new story of how clumsy she was.

During her most recent visit, her doctor shared information about the Domestic Violence Intervention Program’s (DVIP) new Health Care Liaison Advocate while her abuser was in the bathroom.

Melanie’s repeated trips to the emergency room for “accidental” injury are common when someone is being physically abused.

The Domestic Violence Intervention Program works with doctors so information is available to victims.

Her doctor admitted Melanie for observation and set up a time to connect with DVIP’s advocate while her husband was at work.

During the initial visit, Melanie shared with her advocate that she wanted to leave but felt she would never be able to get far enough away to be safe.

Even if she could get far enough away, she didn’t have any money to leave.

This was exceptionally difficult with her two young children.

Melanie is a victim-survivor of financial abuse.

According to DVIP’s website, “As with all types of abuse, financial abuse is rooted in the desire of one partner to have power and control over the other.”

“A partner who chooses to abuse will control their partner’s finances or their ability to provide for themselves.”

Melanie was fired from her past two jobs because she called in sick so often due to the physical abuse.

Also due to the physical abuse, she had immense medical debt.

Her husband, and abuser, did not give Melanie access to their joint banking account.

He would justify himself by reasoning that he just couldn’t trust her with money.

In addition to all of that, the argument that sent Melanie to the hospital was about credit card debt.

In the past six months, he accumulated nearly $15,000 in the credit card debt under her name.

Last year, Melanie’s abuser cut the break lines on her car.

Due to the physical danger this could cause, this act is considered an act of physical abuse.

He refused to get it fixed or let her purchase a new car.

Financial abuse can be seen by itself, however, it can also be used as a means to gain greater power and control.

She relied on him for everything to survive and provide for her kiddos.

He had ruined her credit, her health, and her ability to find a new job in their small community.

According to DVIP, “In these situations, the partner who is abusive has control over the finances and has the power to determine if the other partner can work or not. This imbalance is abusive.”

Melanie’s advocate explained to her that she was not alone.

Nearly 97% of victims of domestic abuse experience financial abuse and often feel trapped because of the economic barriers they face.

Her advocate explained the funds available to help.

Funds provide support for emergency shelter, transitional housing options, and all of the basic necessities that she would need as Melanie and children took the next steps to safety.

While there would be lots of forms to fill out for these resources, her advocate would be there every step of the way to help explain them and support her.

Financial Abuse

According to the National Network to End Domestic Violence, despite financial abuse’s tendency to remain subtle or overt, it always includes tactics such as concealing information, limiting the victim’s access to assets, or reducing accessibility to the family finances.

Like other forms of abuse, financial abuse manipulates, intimidates and threatens a victim for the purpose of one partner gaining power and control over another.

In some relationships this form of abuse begins very early on, however, in other relationships, financial abuse might not begin until the victim attempts to leave.

DVIP gives these examples of financial abuse, but note that this is not a comprehensive list:

You have a joint bank account, and your partner monitors your spending and yells at you or questions you for every purchase.

Your partner gives you an allowance, and you are only allowed to spend that money on what they approve.

Your partner affects your ability to work, such as causing you to be consistently late or preventing you from going to work some days, leading to issues or potential firing.

Your partner receives your public assistance check and refuses to give it to you.

Your partner takes any money earned from you and controls where you spend it.

DVIP provides examples of ways to protect oneself from financial abuse.

Ensure you have your own financial assets, whether that is a private bank account or your own personal cash that is hidden from your partner.

Put two-factor authentication on your banking information or credit cards. This can ensure that only you can access your finances.

You can also talk to your bank about setting up a notification if someone tries to change passwords or access accounts.

Talk to a trusted friend or family member who can keep money for you or receive public assistance for you.

Make copies of any important financial documents and hide them in a safe place, such as a safety deposit box.

Make a list of things you own together (cars, property, furniture) and take photos to help show that they are yours.

DVIP encourages victim-survivor support systems to help in a few different ways.

First, it is always important to check-in with the victim-survivor.

Do this when they are away from their abuser, if possible.

This will help the victim-survivor know they’re not alone.

Other ways to provide support include, holding money for them, help them save, offering rides or support with work issues, helping them document abuse, allowing them to use your address for personal banking and mail.

“It is important to support them in the ways they are comfortable with, as they know their situation best,” DVIP informs.

According to DVIP, financial abuse can lead to long-term problems even after leaving an abuse relationship.

Credit scores, ability to find work, or a disarray of finances are all examples.

DVIP suggests Allstate Foundation’s Moving Ahead program as a resource to begin rebuilding.

Additionally, DVIP encourages anyone experiencing any kind of domestic abuse to reach out via phone call 1-800-799-SAFE or by texting “Start” to 88788

More resources are also found at www.thehotline.org

Comments: AnnaMarie.Ward@southeastiowaunion.com