Area support poured in for Milder, Columbus

This is the third of a three-part series.

COLUMBUS JUNCTION - When one's father is one's coach and his death happens on the field of the sport he coaches, it can create a mental morass.

Emma Milder's father, Tim Milder, was the Columbus Community High School softball coach and died March 30, 2019, while working on the Wildcats' softball field.

Emma Milder struggled every time she saw the softball field, every time she walked into the dugout, every time she stepped foot on the diamond.

Yet it all was part of the healing process.

It opened her eyes to not only how much her father meant to her, but how much he meant to those around her. He impacted the lives of an untold number of people, in Columbus Junction, in the Southeast Iowa Super Conference and surrounding areas.

The SEISC North Division is where Columbus plays; and the outpouring of support from rivals helped everyone deal with the tragedy.

There is a rock next to the flagpole in the middle of the Wildcats' athletic complex that is dedicated to Tim Milder.

Louisa-Muscatine helped out with the rock. Iowa Mennonite School donated money. Every team in the conference mentioned him before its game against Columbus.

'It's all in memory of him,” Emma Milder said. 'There has been a lot of support from other teams. They really enjoyed him and playing our team. He was a fighter. When there was a play, he would be on and they knew it. They really liked him. I know IMS really enjoyed him. I know Carrie (Wieland) from Highland really enjoyed playing him. They really had respect for each other.”

Katie Coil was Milder's assitant coach for four years and stepped up to the head coach position this season.

'L-M softball and volleyball did the rock,” Coil said. 'The coaches in the North have purchased a tree in his memory. We're trying to figure out where to put it out here. The IMS team gave us money to have a night out and to get Emma out and get her mind off things. A lot of teams wear blue ribbons when we play them.”

Coil said it means a lot to see the physical expression of feelings.

'It's amazing to see the support that little old Columbus Junction is getting,” Coil said. 'They wear bows in their hair. We had a memorial game against Wapello. The community came together and we had a big feast for everybody. Tim always would do that for the seniors' last game. We wanted to make it special for Tim and the family.”

Tim Milder's love went far beyond the softball field. It permeated into the lives of those close to him. He treated his players and fellow coaches as family members. He deeply cared for them not only as athletes and coaches, but as people.

'We liked to play our music very, very, very loud on the bus and annoy him,” Columbus senior Aubrey Duncan said. 'But he would always turn around and sing a couple lyrics with us and dance. I was very glad I went out for volleyball this season because he was there. He worked with me a lot. He helped me a lot. I had never played volleyball in my life. He was there and he encouraged me even though I was awful. He's just a fun, exciting, loving guy to be around.”

Columbus has a sharing agreement with WACO High School for softball.

'The fact that he cared so much about my grades, he knew that I was having such a hard time with them and he was always there to help me out,” said senior second baseman Quinn Scarff, who attends WACO. 'When he heard that I got a B-minus on one of my tests and I could play softball, he wanted to hug me and he was really excited. He gave me a great big hug because he was so proud of me. I will never forget that.”

Sometimes it's the little things in life that mean the most.

'We did everything together. We would always go to Iowa City and go the back ways so he could speed,” Emma Milder said. 'We had a really good memory. One time I was going to be late for an Iowa City ASA tournament. My Mom was just getting out of the shower and we needed to be up there. We went to Iowa City and my Dad took the back roads. He sped and we got there in like 25 minutes.”

Of course the memories of learning a father's favorite sport are special.

'We would come out (to the field) in the offseason and do a billion workout drills,” Emma Milder said. 'In the winter, we would be in the gym together. He really taught me the love of the game. He taught me a lot.”

A season that started as a nightmare became a season of special memories for the Columbus softball team. It was a season that transcended the game, pushed the boundaries, went far beyond the white lines, meant far more than mere wins and losses.

This season was for Tim Milder, and the Wildcats did their fallen coach proud.

'I've had a couple instances in my life where you realize life is way too short,” Duncan said. 'Being 19 years old now and seeing there are people surrounding you who love you and they can be gone any second, I've learned not to take anything for granted. There's lots of amazing people in your life you need to thank every chance you get because you never know what's going to happen.”

'He's a great guy. He has a big heart and I love him,” Scarff said.

'When we won that game against IMS in extra innings, I knew he was here,” Coil said. 'He was running alongside me as I was running Libby White into home. It's like magic. His presence was here.”

Coil wants the Wildcat program to continue being a presence in the Milders' life.

'The softball team wants them to know we are always here for them and how much he has impacted our lives,” Coil said. 'He was a great guy and he is deeply, deeply missed by everybody. He raised three fantastic kids and he has an amazing wife.”

Emma Milder has special things she does in her father's memory.

'I write a ‘D' for Dad if I'm pitching,” she said. 'I put it on the back of the circle in the white chalk. If I'm in the outfield, I will do it in the dirt, right before the grass I will put a ‘D.' Right before we do everything, I have a glove in there that has his name on it. One of the soccer girls' coaches gave it to me. I kind of breathe into it and then I'm good. I know he's with me. One day I was playing ASA for the Wapello Chiefs and I was in the outfield before the game and I said, ‘Please, give me a sign.' He was a hunter and we always hunted together. After that practice, my friend Michelle and I left and we saw a bunch of deer. I knew he was here.

'I want to do everything for him, no matter what. He always pushed. He never quit. I want to keep going with life, keep going for him. I want to push myself in everything I do and give it the best effort I can.”