Finally scratching the football itch

I?m a dude. A bona fide red-blooded American male as I like to think.

I wear clothes out of the hamper. If there?s a scratch, I itch. I call girls chicks. I put on war paint and grab my medieval weapons before going out on the hunt.

Well, most of those things anyway.

The point is, given a choice between football and volleyball, I?m taking the gridiron nine times out of ten.

With that being said, man, volleyball can be intense; no doubt about it. I have been legitimately pumped heading into a few volleyball games already this season and the chicks did not disappoint. Fairfield?s five-game, overtime, conference-opening victory against Mount Pleasant definitely stands out and I only expect it to get better. If there is even one fiber in your body that appreciates good competition I would highly suggest checking out the Fairfield-Keokuk match a week from tonight.

With all of this pent up intensity from volleyball, I was in for a let down once the high school football games got started. As much as I hate to say it, I have been on the sidelines for two snoozers the last two weeks with Fairfield?s 14-7 win at Chariton and the 21-0 field goal fest against Williamsburg.

Now, football holds a near and dear place in my heart and, presumably, always will. But what was happening with this volleyball thing? Is it actually possible to be more excited for volleyball than football? As a man, this inner crisis was eating away at me.

To give you an idea of how I usually spend my fall Saturday?s, this past weekend my butt was on the couch by 9:30 a.m. and didn?t leave until 10:30 p.m. Me and five other guys proceeded to stink up the room (by all passers by accounts), eat wings, chips and pizza all day, and, of course, if there was an itch, we scratched. With a full slate of pigskin on TV, football had its chance to budge its way back to No. 1.

Long story short, it did. By a landslide.

Sorry volleyball, but you just can?t compete with Iowa putting a beat down on Iowa State, great finishes such as Michigan-Notre Dame, UCLA-Tennesee, Wisconsin-Fresno State and the list goes on. Please, don?t get me started on Ohio State-USC.

I feel sorry for those that like to spend their weekends ?getting things accomplished? because, well, it?s just not the way I do things. As if Saturday wasn?t enough, the fantasy football nut in me was almost as geared up for Sunday. Football must have caught wind of my affinity for volleyball because the NFL tacked on some enthusiasm of its own just for good measure.

As a Packer fan, you can?t help but feel good about beating the Bears. As a human being, you can?t help but feel good about Jay Cutler throwing four interceptions. Ya know, things just have a way of working out sometimes.

I?m not saying I can?t get pumped for volleyball, but for the time being, football has secured a spot right at the top of my ?like? list with college basketball (oh yeah, forgot to mention it ? don?t talk to me in March).

Now just to review, if you need me on Saturdays, do not check the Home Depot floral department, I will not be laying out outfits for the week and do not offer me a white wine spritzer. However, if you want, I will let you do my laundry.