Softball helped Milder through grief

This is the second of a three-part series.

COLUMBUS JUNCTION - It was the night everyone dreads.

For Emma Milder, it came far earlier than she ever could have imagined.

It was the night of March 30, 2019. It was the night her father, Columbus Community High School softball coach Tim Milder died.

'I went to my boyfriend's house and we watched movies,” Milder said. 'Around 11, I went home and (my dad's) truck was still (at the softball field.) I was starting to get a little worried. I went home and my Mom asked where my Dad was and I said, ‘I don't know. I saw his truck there. Do you want to go look for him?' We went to look for him (at the field). My Mom found him in the back, laying down on the floor. He was ice cold and unconscious. He was super firm so I didn't know what to do. My Mom called 9-1-1 and I called my boyfriend so he could come up here and help. The ambulance showed up and said that he was dead.”

The news spread through the tight-knit community like wildfire. And it hit like a ton of bricks.

'It's the phone call that you never want to get,” said Columbus coach Katie Coil, who stepped in as head coach.

This season would have been Coil's fifth year as Milder's assistant.

'To get that phone call that it's not going to happen this year was devastating to say the least,” Coil said.

News that a coach is going to lead one's team can be disappointing. News that he won't coach because he has died can be tough to wrap one's head around.

'At first it was hard to believe,” Wildcat senior softball player Aubrey Duncan said. 'You didn't believe it. You heard what happened or what possibly happened. Walking out here you see the softball field when I'm going to strength training. It's not easy. It's still not easy coming out here. Emma thinks about it every time she is out here, but she still comes out and plays every game. I'm the same way. It was definitely unfortunate. It wasn't the ideal season, but we pushed through it.”

Columbus has a sharing agreement with WACO High School for softball.

'I was cleaning my room one night. I was home alone and my Mom called me,” said senior second baseman Quinn Scarff, who attends WACO. 'I don't know how she heard it, but she told me what happened. I didn't believe it at first. I had to check with a few people to see if it was true. I kind of sat on my bed. I didn't know what to do. I didn't really know what the next season was going to be like. I had to realize that this year was going to be different, but I still had to play my best, even though he wasn't going to be here.”

Emma Milder was at a crossroad.

As she struggled to wrap her mind around all that was happening in her life, her mind was spinning like a top, her emotions in turmoil.

Softball was the furthest thing from her mind, yet it ended up being the best remedy.

'I didn't go to school for two or three weeks,” Emma Milder said. 'It was hard every day. I had chorus and we were getting ready for a concert and I couldn't go into chorus because all I did was cry in there. I had to be absent from chorus for a really long time. Family and friends got me through most of it. I was playing for ASA with the Wapello Chiefs. That's when I was playing with them. I wasn't going to the practices because I wasn't really about it. The coaches talked to my friend's Mom and told her ‘I hope you can convince her to play because it's going to be easier for her for the season.' So I did. Going through the ASA part was easier because I could just get through it. I did have some friends there who could help me through.”

Milder struggled every time she saw the softball field, every time she walked into the dugout, every time she stepped foot on the diamond.

Yet it all was part of the healing process. It opened her eyes to not only how much her father meant to her, but how much he meant to those around her. He impacted the lives of hundreds of people, in Columbus Junction and surrounding areas.

In the season opener at Mediapolis, Coil handed Emma Milder the ball. This one was for her father, and she played that game with all of her heart and soul.

'She knows he is with her all the time,” Coil said. 'We had her pitch the first game we got to play this season, which was against Mediapolis. It was an extremely emotional game. She came out and pitched an amazing game. We ended up winning, 11-6. After that last strikeout there were tears of joy. She left it all out there, but she did it for him. She knew she had to. There was no option. When I told her she needed to take the season off, she said, ‘Coach, that's not an option. He would say no, get your cleats and get out there.' That's just who he was. She did it. I don't know if I could have mustered up the strength she did, but she is an amazingly strong young woman.”

Please read tomorrow's Journal for the third of the three-part series.